The 65th Birthday

Today would have been Mom's 65th birthday. Exactly a month from today is my 40th. She spent her last birthday in the hospital, recovering from severe dehydration. But her other, misdiagnosed illness was taking over, and she never got better. Her last decent week was the end of May. The next 2 1/2 months were a living nightmare, scarring and traumatic for me, every day, until her preventable and premature death. I took the day off work today because I didn't really want to be around anybody. Very, very few people can understand devastating loss and profound grief, especially when you are devoted to your mother and absolute best friend for almost your entire 39 years of life, and she was to me. Mom always got me lovely cards for my bday and I would do the same for her, and we kept all of the cards we gave each other over the years. I still bought her a card this year. I probably always will. I think about her every waking hour.